"I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as i can remember. Alone with my Family, alone with my Friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone when i wake, alone through each awfuk day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror. Alone in my horror." -A Million Little Pieces by James Frey


haha i <3 the above book. and that small little paragraph is like so touching la please. i was really bad mooding just now. enterprise recently has never failed to spoil my day. hah. not to forget. i was quite pissed at a few stuff but i shall not mention it here since my blog really does get patronised like once in one thousand months and someone might just see what i type here and sue me and get millions of dollars just from my one pathatic paragraph about some things that i really dont like and cant stand bout enterprise and some bitching. oh lets call it "unpleaseness with some people". oh how nice.


so yeah. thursday there's no sch due to meet the parent. my mum gotta meet some bleh person. and friday is 10.30 off. woooooosh! :D come on come on gimme a date man. gimme a date. no one seems to be free nowadays. HAHA. dont really care. might just stay at home and sleep late. but noooooooooooo! i wanna go out. -pouts-. hahaha. going out with stephh and tim on fri before going to luc's for bbq. wooosh! cant wait cant wait cant wait! <33 shitty poot. got back all the other results except chinese today. cause we got back chiense yesterday alrdy. chinese was a huge c5. damn damn depressed. today's results aint good either. i failed emaths and amaths and ss and physics. because i failed ss damn damn badly like 14/50, my history wasnt good enought to pull up cause i need 36 and got like 30. so yeah. in the end i flunked combined humans. wth. this caused me to be so in shock today.

my grades haha. failed both maths. reaction: super super SUPER worried. haven passed a SINGLE test for BOTH maths, emaths and amths since the start of the YEAR. 0.o and i practised damn hard for this mids, but apparently my brain cant function maths fuctions and NOOOOOOOOOOOO i failed again. but at least i improved! hurhur. last time fail was f9. but now it's a whooooping D7. :D great. my ma wants to send me for tuition. tuition dont work for me man. so i guess i gotta keep on practising. but where's the time to do maths everyday?!?!?! HURHUR. this is driving me nuts.

failing ss and physics. reaction: super super SUPER shocked. well. was quite numb when i got back the results actually. took a while for me to process everything into my head. i kinddaf dropped A LOT A LOT during this mids. as in fail for ss and physics just wasnt my standard. yes. i could have done 10 times better. i still cant figure out what's wrong though. sigh. fine so it's all my fault for not paying attention to lkh in class and doing last minute revision. started work for all subjects this yr the day before. so i guess im the one to blame. sigh.


didnt really pass the rest with flying colours as well. those that i expected good grades turned out as failures or c5, c6. and for those that i expected to fail, i did a little better than expected. hah. just like english. i expected a freakin c5, cause that's what i always get. but it turned out to be a a2 and it's so totally wrong! cause im supposed to get a2 for CHINESE. and c5 for ENGLISH. not the other way round! and omg. my history. i thought i wrote out of point. was hoping i wont flunk. but ehhhh! i passed quite a lot! HAHA. and maths. well. i can say i improved from my f9 to d7. :D but still, it's a freakin FAIL.


haha. L1R5 is sky high. 32. best. i had 22 for the previous common test. woohoo! what had gotten into you man pearlynneo! HURHUR. so great. my mum gotta meet the hod or form teacher or smth, cause if i didnt remember wrongly, above 30 gotta see some high end important people. shitty poot. in the 1st place, if she sees the hod, the hod dont even know me lah! what cock can they say man! and my form teacher? she doesnt even teach me. so know what know. hah! im so gonna die laughing! yeah right.


well. at least this whole midyrs im quite thankful for it huh. gotta understand that hey! i shouldnt do last minute mugging anymore! and i gotta be like uberly LESS CARELESS for maths. cause i could have passed if not for the freakin 3 marks careless mistake. arrrrgh.-smacks self into wall-


oh well. nothing can cheer me up now. tmr there's rj investiture. sigh. going with waiteng and carren. sian. dont really wish to go. but on the other hand, can pon lessons so not so bad. but still, i dont wanna go. wanna see my paper and wth did i go wrong. yes. omg. i hate my life. screw up. how i wish everything would just end. no misery. no pain.


Daniel Powters - Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't knowYou tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day


oh shitty poot. yuexi's paragraph. haha no mood really. tommrrow k. PROMISE. if not you can murder me. well i rather you murder me. end this once and for all. no more shanghai too. urgh. school was just a pure waste of time today. was rotting in the hall watching some monstor-in-law movie + this really lame and boring and old show called the league of extraordinary gentlemen?! yes. wasted the 1st half of the day. cant they just ask us to come to school at like 11.15 to collect the freakin results instead of making us rot in the hall!!?!? gahh i wonder what's up with them man.

oh well. today's chinese results were quite shocking. it was the lowest EVER in my ENTIRE LIFE. omg i just felt like committing suicide please. c5 oh c5. how did i ever end up in this state?! the first three tests were a1, a2, b3 okay fine. i noticed the big drop alrdy. but c5. omg i really didnt expect it. but honestly, i wasnt really surprised when i got my results. felt a little numb. and shocked. and scared. and happy at the same time. and i was depressed also. and disappointed. was quite weird that laoshi didnt come and scream at my face and ask how the heck did i get such "fantabulous" grades. hoho yes. if i add the ca marks which is my 1st three tests and previous compos, and my mids together, i get a b4. hoho see! now i have a complete collection of a1, a2, b3, b4 and c5. maybe for the next half of the year i should get c6, d7, e8 and f9 and the collection will be complete! hoho how wonderful.


oh yes. the shanghai thing. omg of all times. why? seriously, there's so many things i cant bear to part here. for example, cs, enterprise, ie clubbers, 3g2ers, 2s1ners, oln friends, rciy peeps and eleanor, church, and all the things that i have. oh well i guess if i dont go when everyone else is going, i'll just sleep under the overhead bridge. yay! overhead bridge with chucky. my new home! oh wow i cant wait man. tsk. shitty poot. guess now i'm really starting to treasure all that i have. hoho. better start loving everything and everyone and stop whining. yes you pearlyn. stop whining and grumbling.



oh shitty poot. tmr is the rest of the papers. and amath and emath is like the first few. these two are my weakest subjects lah! haven passed a single test sinced the start of the year. whoa great. my whole day is so totally gonna be ruined. best.



to my dearest yuexi: sorry cant blog a para bout you. shall continue tomorrow. cause im having 2 msn convos now, one with 2 people the other with 8. i will just die. so yea. tmr k. i promise a LONG one. HOHOHO. :D





-oh the purple star necklace hahaha. my life is damn screwd up. wonder how i even ended up here man. i'm just lacking so much in security and confidence and yes, faith. and nothing can make me feel good again apart from him. but yes. i feel like i'm drifting away. oh why? be strong my dear. grr. of all the obstacles in life, i'm sure most of them are like learning experiences blah blah blah. and i do hope through all these i'll get drawn closer to him. oh yes i hope. please. with all my mights i pray.


so the past week wasnt very fantastic. except that the EXAMS ARE OVER. woohoO! LIBERATION! yes. (: thursday had enterprise dinner. :D as in the comm people. oh well. had some general meeting before that. kana scolded for eating in the room. like wth. -.- and after that rushed home and stuff. bathed, dressed up a bit and flew off again to citylink mall to meet michelle gweee!! <33 we were like despo freaks that obviously haven been shopping for a long time. was like rushing to yami yogourt like little kids and bought ice cream! and after that we were like so happy lah! all because of one cup of ice cream! HAHA. and yes. as i mentioned, we are deprived of shopping. was going to like fox and trying on clothes. madness. hoho. they are having a smacking good offer please! buy one top and get the next top at $2. we were drooling over the promotion! HAHA and i went to perlini's after that. got this silver necklace. HAHA. and topshop was great! visited dorethy perkins. now we know where teachers get their clothes. right mich?!?! -winkwink-


so yes because of our madness and thought of mt being the one always late, we kinddaf overshopped, and ended up late at the garlic restaurant at the esplanade. so sorry peeps. was supposed to be some sort of bday celebration for mt, but yes, i wasnt informed. guess from now on i wont get informed on many things. sigh. who cares? like what bertha said, when it's not your problem, dont go bother. shitty poot. was feeling kinddaf left out then, cause everyone was like whispering to each other and me and mich were like stonning there like HUH? but overall was quite okay lah. was smearing on mt. oh yes. we were planning in the toilet lah! bout our oh-so-wonderful-smash-cake plan. but when we got back, the waitress cleared the cake alrdy! but oh well nvm, at least amanda and yuqi had some cake left on their plates. so it wasnt that bad afterall. hoho. really, i think my passion for enterprise is fading. no more action. no more drama mama. and now even the hyperactive kid i getting less hyper afterall. guess it's really dying. oh please. just gimme that spark to carry on. pass that spark and it'll be a flame in my heart. oh yes. that spark. oh so little indeed.


friday vesak day. m:i:3 was GREAT. maggie Q is freakin HOT. HOT HOT HOT. <333 yes that's what i rmbered for that day. haha. marche after that was great too! ate like a cow. the one at heeren closed down so yeah had to go to the suntec branch. omg seriously. the one at heeren is 10 times better. and 3 times bigger. it was SO cramp i could hardly breathe. and not to mention we queued 1/2h just to get in. bahh.


sometimes matters oh the heart is just so hard to control. i wonder why but i always do have a liking for adults who just care more for me. is it the lack of comfort and security? at first it was that world-known secret bout ahem. yes. im sure if you read my blog you'll know bout it. and now omg i think i'm starting to fall for someone else. but the thing is i'm not allowed to fall for this person. well due to some reasons or another. yes. it's true i'm getting straighter. straighter than ever. this person is a man. grown man. not some bgr (boy girl relationship). its mgr (man girl relationship) and the thing is this relationship is NOT possible to take place. if it ever does, i know it wont, i'm just doing a disgrace to the world around me. and im sure it'll be brought up to the press. oh well. so since the whole feelings thing started from the heart of mine, i guess there is where i'll start to change it. yes. since it started with me, it shall end with me. i wont get anyone involved. and no one. seriously no one knows about this. only me and my soft toys on my bed. and oh dream on i wont tell you who is this man. (: you wont know anyway. :D this relationship will never ever take place. i promise. now the first step, take it away from me. away from my heart. gone with the wind will you. on the positive side, i guess im maturing and im resisting from falling for woman now. yes. hohoho. 1st step to improvement!


oh. draw me closer to you. let me hear you see you feel you. even if i dont. by faith will i believe. strengthen me and allow me to serve you.


oh.
make me a channel of your peace.
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy;
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life


-st francis of assisi. yes. yes YES!
the EXAMS are FINALLY OVER!!!

hohoho. after months. nono. after weeks of hard work. yes. the exams are OVER. well at least for the time being. :D wont have to mug like shit and get pmsy over my paper. and moan like mad after the paper when i realise that i cant do like 3/4 of it. oh well. this time i guess i didnt have much time to prepare. 1st time taking major exam in sec3. whoa. a bit different i guess. didnt have enough time to mug for history and chem and physics and emaths and amaths. i dont wanna flunk. nooooo~ who wanna flunk anyway. but yea. if i get really sucky marks, i guess i'll know why. hohohoho.

so today. after the paper. was totally happy hour lah! oh might as well say happy day (: yes. went out with like waiteng, carren, yanting, karen, divya for subway brunch at lido. 6people shared 2 cabs. yeah. and just basically ate lunch. had loads of confusion cause was supposed to meet dee and xiu after that. but i wonder if they rmbered. so wanted to watch POOOOH SEEEEIH DOOON. yes. that's how we pronounced. hohoho. but in the end met dee and xiu at town. OMG OMG 37 degree is having a 40% storewide sale. woohoo! i'm so gonna crash their shop. yeah. xD so went to heeren and saw this uber nice spects shop. fell in <3 with this brown and orange frame spects, although everyone said it didnt suit me. and with this purple framless one. haha i guess everyone's so used to seeing me frameless. HOHO. and neoprint session today was the most disorganised shots. but the most organised writing ever. hoho. reading free mags at kino rocks. yay! especially us seventeen. now im really dreading reading singapore magazines cause they are so shallow with no content at all! i <333 overseas import goods. hohohoho :D met marese at orchard today. OMG MARESE. i didnt think she'll be shopping at town. haha guai guai gu niang tot will be going home to study. hurhur. (read this girl!) yes. xD feeling high high high today! but definately not horny. hoho yes.

omg enterprise is at 2.30 tmr. shitty poot. how am i supposed to go for meeting till i dunno what time it ends and rush home change bathe and smell nice and rush out again for enterprise dinner?! a bit ridiculous right?! and tmr gotta being the idiotic tablet. great. haha. thought of putting it at home man. but nonono. gotta update some software bleh. great. so if i cant make it home to change, gotta lug my bag + tablet round the whole of esplanade area till like 10++ at night. piffff. haha i dont mind lugging tablet to rciy till 10 ++ but to esplanade?! no way. better better get me a chance to go home man. oh well.



nowadays i've been thinking a lot. yes. how weak humans are and how we are so affected by just the smallest thing that happen around us. obviously im always the one greatly affected. how come life is so unfair. how come the sky is so blue. and the trees so green? hoho. makes me think a lot. and now after the elections, i've found a new career! hohoho. im gonna be a political analyst. (: it so suited for me! yes. another occupation to add to my aspirations column when u scroll down from my name there. (: and i'll soon include journalist, newscaster, reporter, editor. omg media media. haha and not to mention, prime ministress of singapore. :D dream job nunber one. HOHOHO. :D


it's been 3 weeks since baptism. haha. one month anniversary is on 15 may 06. yes. :D how life had changed and the impact this whole thing had made. well not just a thing. i think the meaning is much more deeper than that. yes. (: it's like part of my life. and life actually really really began for me at that point. hohohoho. would like to help out more though. and since its sec3, obviously i can afford the time right? yes yes. HAHA. i <3 rciy. yipeeee~ registration or as what marcus renamed, enrollment (LMAO) continues this weeekend! gonna be on duty with steph on sun. yes. (: those of you who are like wanting to know more bout the catholic faith can come~ HOHO just ask me for the details. xD omg i cant wait. for the so many things that are just beginning. (:



this is one inspirational song i found in the ij cd again. cause yes. someone was playing it so loudly today. AHEM AHEM. if you dont know who, scroll down and see the previous posts and you'll know. (: and also, the click five, catch your wave is currently number ONE on the pearlyn's top 10 countdown! HOHOHO. hey girl, i wanna catch you wave, hey girl, i wanna drift away with you. (: I LOVE THE CLICK FIVE. <33

quote from joyceng's blog:
"happy music makes people happy. happy music influences your mood. happy" HOHOHO. catch your wave. WAVELENGTH. lmao. physics. =/ so gonna flunk. why doesnt our school just offer languages and all humanities? it's just nice 8 subjects please. i think i can ace it much much more than maths and science pulling my grades down. :(



Walk on the Water

Come to me now across the ocean
I am waiting for you
I know you want to be with me
In all kinds of weather
Don't look at what lies in between us
There's no need to be afraid
I'll send my spirit out to seek you
Drawing you so close to me

You can walk on the water
Trusting in my power
Don't be frightened of the wind and waves
You can walk on the water
Just believe I love you
Always keep your eyes on mine

You say you truely want to follow me
In everything that you do
But you wonder if it's just far to hard
And you feel like giving up
Why do you doubt that I can keep you
Safe from any danger
I simple have to say the word
And every storm will pass you by

Strong winds may blow
Sending waves crashing all around you
I'll raise you up
And you'll walk through every storm





sharethelove! :D
oh just rmbered. i owe joanne and emi bday present. -reminds myself-